FAT in the city...

...so, here it is, Dawn. The truth is, I LOVE summer! Or, more accurately, I love the illusionary idea I have of it. Every time I think of summer, I entertain myself with visions of pool-side parties where everyone, (including myself) is clad in those fun, trendy bathing suits from the fashion mags, sipping cocktails, of course, with that laissez-faire "Nothing could rain on our party because we are so carefree, young and having fun" kind of attitude. Light, breezy, and free. And maybe in this vision I would wear a sarong if the mood strikes me, but only because I liked the sexy, slinky, exotic feel of it... NOT because I needed it to hide my bulging thighs that meet in the middle, or my saddle bags slung on either side. I would always have a nice, "healthy" golden glow from a tan to perfectly complement and highlight my perfectly amazingly sexy and dare I say graceful, slender arms... which is really funny, because in real life I never tan, but rather, I always broil into the shade a perfectly-done lobster. And my arms, well... Funny where my imagination can lead me... I am sure it's because the current truth of the matter is so hard to stomach (no pun intended!)

This time of year, when I waddle down the streets of New York City, the ratio of fat people to skinny people is definitely made quite painfully clear. As the temperatures rise, it seems that the clothing becomes almost optional for my skinny city-mates. Sometimes I can feel the eyes peering at me as I pass, trying not to look too hard, but still trying to take in the sight that is me!
Every morning as I make the morning commute to work, I'm treated to eyeful after eyeful of short hemlines and breezy little low-cut linen dresses, and I find myself wishing, well okay, even praying sometimes just to be able to slide myself into one of those outfits to be able to feel the cooling breeze caress my legs. And I'm modest, you know- I really don't want the short hemline or the ridiculously plunging necklines that some of the women wear... just a little forgiveness from the heat and the sticky sweat that permeates all of the fabric that I wear. It's not even August yet, Dawn... the last 2 days have been a little better, but I'm definitely not looking forward to July! It sucks to be fat in the city!
The best thing is: the diet is going really well! Even though I'm having some cravings, I've been able to resist them for now. Fruit instead of chocolate, 1-2 servings of soy chips with salsa once a day instead of potato chips or ice cream, water or a sugar-free drink instead of a syrupy juice... little by little, I WILL control my cravings, they will not control me!